Monday, April 26, 2010

A Dog Is A Dog Is A Dog

Last week my good friend Sandra told me to remember that any behavior that Brutus does is "normal" dog behavior. The behavior that I "want" Brutus to have is not necessarily normal dog behavior, but hopefully trainable dog behavior. Uh, yeah.

My conversation with Sandra came about because Brutus has become absolutely obsessed with chipmunks, literally to the point of hyperventilating. While I'm typing this, he's in his crate having a "time out" trying to catch his breath.

Last Thursday he had been outside literally all morning pacing and perched to get that darn chipmunk, and it was warm out, so I called him in to have a drink and cool down for a few minutes. Plus, we had walked in the morning, so he had had a pretty busy day. I was vacuuming the steps, and after about thirty seconds, he wanted out AGAIN. I told him to "wait". He looked at me, walked over and marked the corner of the love seat (that poor love seat) and walked back to the front door. I took this as typical toddler behavior, and NAUGHTY!! My friend Sandra tried to calm me down and tell me that maybe he had been outside for hours, but maybe he had been so caught up in watching the chipmunks that he hadn't gone to the bathroom, and really had to go. Hmmm. I'm still undecided on that one, but I can tell you that I am the most grateful for my Bissell carpet shampooer. I don't know what I would have done without that dark blue baby. Needless to say, Brutus went back outside, and I not only vacuumed, but I also had to clean the love seat. Ugh.

On with the "normal" dog behavior, and WARNING, this is not child appropriate. Anytime you adopt a dog, a prerequisite is that they have to be spayed or neutered, and I can guarantee that Brutus's little nuggets are gone. Since I (in my adult life) have not been a dog owner, I figured this meant no sex for Brutus, which I was perfectly good with! So, last night I was sitting in my room watching T.V., and I hear Brutus yelp. What's in my driveway, but Brutus and Kiera, the neighbors new American Bulldog, who just happens to be in heat, stuck butt to butt. My first thought was "what the hell", and my second thought was "how in the hell did they do that?". (I did figure that out later after some googling). I am claiming molestation on her part. Brutus was leashed in his driveway, probably looking for his chipmunks, and along came Kiera with her hot little behind, and before Brutus knew what was happening, he was "hooked". Every pun intended!!

While I'm out there trying to figure out what to do, I hear Bennie calling for Kiera. Oh, this is gonna be good. I yelled back that she was at my house stuck to my dog. "Yeah right" he yells back. He came around the corner and couldn't believe it either. "Isn't he fixed?" he asked. Same thing that I'm thinking. We all learned a lot last night. Just because a male dog is neutered doesn't mean they can't "do it". It's no different than humans. Apparently it should eliminate their desire to go looking for it, and as his mother, I can say that when you're tied in your driveway, you probably aren't out looking for it, but it sure in the heck doesn't eliminate any ability they may have to do the duty. So the poor things were stuck together for a good five minutes. From what I read, it could have been a lot worse. Apparently when actual mating is going on, it can last up to thirty minutes. And as for the butt to butt thing, once he was "done", he turned around to leave, but was stuck. No wonder he was yelping. Not exactly a normal position for things to happen. This is when I wish I spoke Yiddish or some other awesome language so I could end this paragraph with a really good chutzpah or something!!

The pictures today are of the damage to the (to be replaced) siding that Brutus dented trying to get to the chippies under the cement, the dirt exit whole on the other side of the front of the house that they have dug to escape from, and yet another nest that he just found today in the garage. The corner of the garage is blocked in with boards and insulation, but he found a nest, and sure enough, when I went over there to see what he was fussing about, a big chipmunk went running across the shelving that you see and behind the wall. He has a nose like nobody knows!! And, by the way, we really don't have that many containers of cat litter just hanging out in the garage!! They are just a great way to store grass seed and drive way salt, and all of those things that we don't want left out in a bag. :)

So, to my friend Sandra, if Brutus is just being a dog, and he probably is, I love you for completely understanding him and calming me down. To me, get him back to school, and proceed with caution if you hear him "yelp" when he is in the driveway. I saw way more than I ever want to see again.

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