Monday, September 20, 2010

Oh So Tired (and Whiny)

I have been so incredibly tired this summer, and I'm so frustrated with it. Four years ago when we first bought the lake home, I could go out on Friday night with Don and stay out until the wee hours of the morning, and actually survive. Sometimes we could even do something fun on Saturday. Now I can barely stay out until 11:00 on Friday night, and I'm completely pooped on Saturday. You're probably wondering what this has to do with Brutus. Actually, I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure that out.

This summer, I was treated for Lyme's Disease. The doctor didn't give me a blood test because she said they were more often than not wrong, but I had all of the symptoms, right down to the achy joints. And, being I had been walking Brutus every day along a heavily wooded road, I was picking ticks off of both of us constantly. It was disgusting! So, a diagnosis of Lyme's was no big surprise. Then I had my physical two weeks ago, and I was told that I had B12 deficiency anemia. Well, anemia can make you feel tired. So this week I started B12 injections. I was fully expecting to feel amazing. Instead, I caught a bad cold. Can I blame that on Brutus? Most likely, NO, just still trying to figure out being so tired.

So here's the other thing that amazes me at this particular moment in time. There are women out there, A LOT of women, going to fertility clinics to have babies at my age. The one thing I can tell you for sure is that I would be totally incapable of raising a child at this age. How do I know that? Because I can barely raise a two year old dog. As cute as he is, he is constantly wanting to go outside, then come inside, then go outside, then have a treat, then play ball, then jump on the bed, then off the bed, then...........well, you get the picture. Sometimes I feel like I just can't do it. Then I tell myself that those are expectations that I am putting on myself. Not that Brutus is putting on me. After all, he was in a kennel heading toward the gas chamber. I'm guessing that the life we have given him is much better than that!

Hmmm. So what is the point of this post. Probably just to make myself feel better. Even though I took Brutus out for a mini walk today, I have been laying in bed nursing my head cold, and feeling guilty. He wants to play so desperately, and I don't. So instead, I took some pictures of him trying to play by himself. He really is pretty adorable.........when he isn't getting in to mischief! What I really want is to have my energy back again. I want to be excited to head out on our walk every day, and have the energy to be a great dog parent, and still manage life. I've been married for twenty five years and raised three children. How hard can it really be to have a dog in our life????? I WILL figure this out. For now, I'm done whining, so here are some pictures of Brutus being a good boy today. Enjoy. :)

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